2021.09.25 04:29 brunettemountainlion That’s got to be the only reason she exists
|submitted by brunettemountainlion to thedawnpatrol [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 bradleymagram Weed panic/ paranoia/ realization
It seems to me that whenever I smoke weed I always end up having an insane panic attack. It feels like my whole life is twisting. I know that the individuals mind is the whole reality. When I smoke every thought makes perfect sense, and I feel united with the universe, and as crazy as it sounds I literally feel like god. There is absolutely no “lack” because lack is all in the the mind of the perceiver. I can’t tell if this is the devil, god, autism, or if i’m just a paranoid pot smoker. I think i may even have autism, and i am a sensitive introvert, so when i smoke something in my mind goes insane. I like to research “self realization, enlightenment” whatever you want to call it, and my theory is that when you get rid of the “self” you are then merged with god, and don’t reincarnate because there is no more “self” to reincarnate. And basically that “mind” and “universe” This is what it feels like when i smoke, I start to literally transcend into the music, objects, the conversation, or something in the present moment. It is very scary, ecstatic at the same time. Does anyone want to add anything to this or have any advice for me?
submitted by bradleymagram to weed [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 Possessed_Egg32 Wait a minute, this isn’t a person
|submitted by Possessed_Egg32 to meme [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 Revolutionary-Fan692 where do arceus shrines spawn
i have been looking for an ingame week, travelled over 4 oceans, searched 4 different CONTINENTS, and havent found a single shrine for anything. i found one really fast in an earlier save, so i know they exist... help
submitted by Revolutionary-Fan692 to PixelmonMod [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 newstart3385 Best Cities for Singles 2021
2021.09.25 04:29 Rare_Indication8586 Meredith is one of the best characters
This is just a random thing but thought I’d share. I’ve been watching grey’s anatomy for four years and only been watching newer seasons after binge watching the first ones in my first year of ga. This made me forgot most of the earlier storyline and character development. So in the newer seasons when Meredith was portrayed as some amazing surgeon and literally EVERY character was worshipping her, I started to dislike her character. But I’ve been rewatching the show for the last few months and honestly, shes on of the best characters ever. I love her sm now and remember why she’s so loved.
submitted by Rare_Indication8586 to greysanatomy [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 Interesting-Crow5965 any one else think yak been hatin ?
2021.09.25 04:29 y0ungg0th Weekly 5x5
|submitted by y0ungg0th to lastfm [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 No-Mathematician9251 Unite Squad for LGBTQ+ Community <3
Hello to all the LGBTQ+ pokemon fans who play Pokemon Unite! I made a squad called: pride (all in lower case) to have fun in a safe place. You are all welcome to join!
ID squad: #X4TNMLHQ
see you soon <3
submitted by No-Mathematician9251 to PokemonUnite [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 Pretty_Recover1841 Getting frustrated with WC BEC
Trying to practice some BEC WC and getting very frustrated. I am using Grammarly and literally, half of the page is "passive voice" " or clarity issues" Not many grammar or punctuation, but I am getting concerned now. I got weaker on my WC last time I took it, but I know it was because I didn't have a thesis. Also, I failed to have topic sentences. Should I be concerned with the whole.
I noticed that on the two practice WC from the AICPA website, they use "The purpose of this memo..." as their thesis (or last sentence of their intro) for both examples they have there. Should I use the same one to play it safe? Of course, change it up to the topic I am given.
submitted by Pretty_Recover1841 to Accounting [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 Nohan07 Importante manifestation pour la liberté vaccinale à Nouméa
|submitted by Nohan07 to Nouvellecaledonie [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 Dancingwithnopoise It’s not always your fault! Sometimes, people without BPD mess up things too
I would like to warn anyone reading this that my message contains references to child abuse, toxic relationships and sexual abuse - if you’ve been affected by these topics and you do not wish to revisit it, please stop here.
PLEASE REREAD THE TOP SENTENCE BEFORE CONTINUING.
Hi everyone, I just made this account five minutes ago after searching up my situation and finding a bunch of posts like “I (person with BPD) destroyed my relationship” - and I wanna say, it’s not always you guys. I AM NOT A GREAT WRITER SO IF I RAMBLE ON, PLEASE JUST SKIM THE STORY. It’s covers the last 9 months, and there’s a lot of it.
Where do I begin? Well, I’ve more or less broken my relationship - the person I love has told me that they don’t love me the same way anymore, and that they don’t even know if they want to date me now. All of this has been after a month of myself being ignored, barely spoken to and completely made to feel unwanted and unloved. But here’s the twist - I don’t have BPD and I ruined my relationship. We’re currently on a break, but I believe truly that their mind is made up, and that in a few days or maybe more, she’ll make the choice to break up with me and that, we won’t speak whatsoever afterwards.
I’ll take everyone back to the start. For the purpose of this story, we’ll call my girlfriend by the initials of her first and last name: JW.
I met JW in December last year, we were just playing some games online - I think it was Call of Duty? And we teamed up, got on and added each other. The next day? More of the same.
The day after? More of the same.
At this time, neither of us actually had any plans to date or anything - I’d been single since March 2020, and JW had gotten out of a relationship I think a year...? Earlier? Now, at this time we weren’t glued together and super friendly or anything, we didn’t actually start talking outside of games until the end of January this year. It was around early January that we gave each other pictures, so we knew what we both what the other looked like.
Fast forward a month, and after talking for a little bit on Discord, we decided to start calling on there when we weren’t gaming - and at first, I was pretty... shook, but how different JW was.
For starters, JW texted and played games in a very enthusiastic manner - in texts for example, she always used lots of exclamation marks! And emojis 🙂😁😜
But on calls on Discord? She was incredibly quiet - and honestly, still is mostly - even before everything that happened this month. The first call we had was a... challenge, but somehow, we made it to four hours, before we went to sleep. The day after, we called again.
A few weeks past and I think it was around the 10th of February that we had an idea! Why not do a Discord call for a whole month? Great idea right?
Yes - but looking back, I can’t imagine our relationship turning out the same without spending that much time together.
Around this time, JW started her... pranks. Her first one was confessing to me, and acting incredibly serious about it - now, I had developed a small crush on JW - which was maybe inevitable...? I’m not particularly sure, though I doubt it would have happened had lockdown not been as tough as it was at the time - we both had a lot of free time then. My crush wasn’t super strong like I said, so I played it off, and said that I needed more time, only for her to turn around and go, “I was kidding lol. But imagine if I did actually love you?” Or something like that. At this time however, JW HAD developed mixed feelings for me - as she later told me, but wasn’t sure with how to deal with them at that time.
Three days later, and JW did however make an admission - she liked someone.
The dashing hero of this story who is probably facing imminent heartbreak as he writes this?
We’ll called this guy SH - these are the first two letters of his first name.
She admitted she was super attached to him, had known him for a year and loved him deeply, there was just one problem. SH wasn’t single. And she loved him lots, like I tried to help her when she cried because of that fact, but nothing would console her.
Then a week later - her feelings for SH were shaken, in the worst way possible.
At her dad’s restaurant, SH came in when JW was on her break - she was working as a waitress. SH gave her a necklace, and then kissed her. JW kissed back.
Later JW told me this, and admitted it made her feel so happy, but so disgusted - she hated cheats, and she felt so guilty that SH and her had done that. When she told me, I told her my own dating history - and how, two years ago - I had been cheated on, and that I wouldn’t be able to look at her the same way if she continued to pursue him. She accepted this, and thus over the next week, she started to visibly push those feelings away.
By the start of March, however.... other feelings had become quite apparent, for both of us.
Our messages had become rather flirty, with lots of kissing emojis, casual flirting and stuff like that. Which led to me admitting I “had a crush” on JW after a few days. This was a lie, I’d fallen head over heels for her far too quickly looking back admittedly. The point is, I loved her.
JW was shocked, truthfully because I’d shown little - if you can call flirting and lots of kissing emojis that - interest in her, according to her.
48 hours passed, and on the 5th - JW told me that SH had broken up with his girlfriend to be with her, but JW had told him there was someone else.
That said, we were long distance - so it wasn’t like she gave him anything other than my name.
After that, we started dating.
Yet after two weeks, there were... problems. JW had gone from being bubbly and very affectionate on texts to being dry, sarcastic and rude. “I’m out of your league, and you know it lol.” Furthermore, JW was back in school - and SH was there, and she just couldn’t tell him no when he tried flirting with her, kissing her, groping her and the like.
That said, it wasn’t like she accepted, she actually pushed him away when he tried to kiss her - leading HIM TO GET PISSED AT HER. But for other things, like the flirting - she just let it happen, she refused to shut him down when I asked. “No, I’ll do it later.”
Around this time, I met JU and GA - again, like SH, these are the two starting letters of their first names. JW’s best friends. JW had met them when she was 13, JU was 25 (21 when they met) and GA was 20 (16 when they met). I met them through text naturally, and they seemed friendly, although they did comment that I was a bit “stupid”.
I has no idea what they meant at the time.
Still, they seemed great - I remember one time, they beat up JW’s incredibly abusive ex - he’d tried raping her, blackmailing her and was just abusive. Aside from that, they were chilled out.
Moving on, JW and I were growing closer and closer - which is when JW started sending me casual pics of her chilling, stuff like that. No nudes of course. It was around this time that JW’s parents split up.
JW’s dad was great - incredibly protective, successful and friendly.
JW’s “mum” on the other hand...
Had abused her ever since she was a child, she punched in front of kindergarten staff, another time, she found her hanging out with a boy in the town they used to live in when JW was 14 - and the response was to beat her when she got home, until as JW described it, “I pissed blood”. When JW was a little younger, her mum decided that her bikini was “too sexual” and thus decided to cut it off her with scissors, while she was in the driveway and then lock her outside. Finally, and this had actually happened this year, JW’s mum had threatened her while she was at her father’s restaurant, made her go into the toilets and then made her strip naked while her “mum” and a stranger took pictures. These pictures were later posted online under some caption like “My daughter has the cutest figure” or some crap.
Those pictures were also the reason JW was nearly sexually assaulted at the restaurant and then her home by a customer who had seen them, the day before we started dating.
JW’s “mum” moved out to be with a guy who beat her, beat his sons and attempted to sexually abuse JW whenever she came to visit. The most recent visit being in July - when JW’s dad and stepmum - who is lovely, were on a business trip, and thus JW who didn’t wanna be home alone, due to some trauma to be explained, went with them.
Late March, and JU was struggling massively - and JW had to help her best friend. He was miserable - it turns out both of his parents had died recently, and understandably he wasn’t coping. However, he had started to be strange. When JW said she missed me, JU told her that she didn’t care about JU at all. Which was weird, but we thought nothing of it.
A few days later, she told me that earlier that morning - (afternoon for me), JU had come to her house and punched and attacked her, I told her that wasn’t acceptable and she should stop it. She promised she would.
So I left, and when I came back, everything had gone great, though we had to stop calling and texting when JU came back to the house.
When JW messaged me again, she said things had “gotten rough” - and JU had punched her, kicked her and eventually raped her. I cried lots, told her it wasn’t her fault and everything. GA - was outraged when he heard this.
A week passed, and JW told me JU had sent her something, it was her on video? It turns out JU had been drugging and raping JW and filming it on several occasions, and would release more videos if JW didn’t start talking to him again. Looking back, JW admitted she was always felt... off, when she’d spent the night at JU’s.
After that, everything was relatively relaxed until the end of May - barring SH constantly trying to flirt with JW when they were in school, it was great. When the school year ended for summer, she even shut him down finally! She went off!
At the end of May, it was her birthday, and I’d be having... minor problems for weeks now.
JW just didn’t add up, where she lived and the places she was in her pictures - where she supposedly lived, look nothing alike. Furthermore, her phone number’s area code was on the other side of the US to where she supposedly lived.
Around the 28th? She had to go and stay with “mum” and her “mum”’s boyfriend. Her phone was broken, so we had had to talk through our gaming headsets, I know that was genuine.
A little while after she left, curiosity got the better of me, and aided by a momentary slip up on JW’s part, I found her instagram...
...and her OnlyFans.
How could this be? She’s cheating on me? And wait, she lives in another city? She’s older than she said she is?
After speaking to the actual owner of the account, I found out that JW had been catfishing me - for six months now! Furthermore, GA and JU had known, a former friend of JW’s had supplied pictures for whenever JW wanted to send them. JW later admitted that she did it because she thought that’s what you did with long distance friends, and later our relationship.
Several beers later, JW returned home early - her “mum” had been beaten up by her boyfriend and so her dad had picked her up. By this point, I was DEEPLY angry.
I yelled at JW - calling her a bitch, a liar, a freak - everything. All she could say was “All I did was lie about my face? Stop sounding dumb, it’s hilarious”.
I didn’t realise at the time that I’d really hurt JW and that was the event that made her realise just how massively she’d hurt me.
After that, things were okay for the first half of June - although I couldn’t trust JW - which would have horrible consequences later on.
Then, JW asked me to download tiktok and I did - ew lol haha.
She added me, I added her and we watched tiktoks together on Discord.
Then, I found her... other account.
It was full of flirty tiktoks from her to SH - made while WE WERE DATING. She said she loved him, and I was just a friend. She even did a tiktok for him on our 2nd month anniversary.
Naturally, I kept this a secret, I didn’t want JW to get mad at me like she had done before when I had tried to talk about my problems with how she was acting. Eventually, after two weeks, I told her.
JW was actually nice about it, and told me SH had blackmailed her into making them - I don’t know what he blackmailed her with, I never asked. But she provided proof of him telling her to make the tiktoks through texts.
Still, those tiktoks, plus her refusal to shut SH down for months, and her keeping him as a friend even after this did take its toll on me. Again, my brain said I couldn’t trust her.
By this point, JW had become concerned - she had a screaming match with her dad and a breakdown when she found something JU had bought something months earlier, which led to me saying she should go to the doctor.
She did, and after a few weeks, she told me she’d been diagnosed with BPD - which I’m not really a stranger to, my sister has it, and I’d end up going to her for advice several times over the next few months.
End of June - and after GA had tried to attack JU after he posted another video online, he admitted he loved JW.
Who proceeded to shut him down very sweetly, and very gently - no that isn’t sarcasm. It was adorable. My girl was learning!
After that though, he started being weird - and after attacking JW at her home while her family was out, he did the unthinkable.
He got drunk at the start of July, headed to JW’s house, entered JW’s bedroom through an open window (the house is all on one level), dragged her to his car and raped her, before dumping her outside to head back in after a few hours.
She told me this later on - and after some very unsure comments off of me, she exploded - telling me I hadn’t helped her emotionally when she was raped by JU originally - or when she was raped by him and several of his friends while her dad was working, at the start of April. I was hurt, but agreed to do better.
During this time, JW showed me no affection - she would say “whatever” and “I know right” when I told her I loved her, looking back I know she was dealing with trauma, but at the time I thought it was more about us.
Stupid of me, I know.
Over the next month though, I started to get the old JW back - she became affectionate again, but was incredibly clingy.
On the 2nd of August, she having finally gotten her medication, but not having had it for long, exploded again.
I fell asleep for 20 minutes after saying we could talk - I was tired, and we’d been talking for 8 hours by that point already, and when I woke up, she was abusive, saying how I needed to make her talk to her therapist (DBT?) and how she thought we’d have to break up because I was that bad. I cried, begged her not to, so she went on a break instead. I called my sister and her fiancée - a mental health nurse, who told me that JW would come back soon, but that she was likely not going to be reasoned with right now, and I should let her cool off.
Later on, she did - and was extremely apologetic. I said it was okay, but to me, this was another problem - why should I have end up a crying mess because JW couldn’t accept I needed to sleep?
A few days later, and bearing in mind everything that happened, I broke up with JW - for a short while, getting back together with her soon after. I just loved her too much to leave.
But it was strange, she was... pushing me away? Which led to her admitting in late August that she felt incredibly guilty about everything she had done, and thought I deserved someone “who won’t put you through this” - which is why she had done so. I spent much of a family barbecue in my room, more or less in tears because she had told me she wasn’t sure if she loved me anymore. I said it was okay, and I arranged that we would talk about things every Friday.
By now, I had no idea that I was about to ruin everything.
Saturday, the 4th of September 2021.
JW wanted to spend the day calling me, but her stepmum needed her help decorating a wedding, and so after some grumbling, she went.
A few hours passed and great.
It was around 1am for me (8pm EST for her) - when I went on tiktok. She’d changed her bio to “S<3” - Great! This is me! I mean, she rarely mentioned me on her tiktok or her bio. Then, I checked her followers, since they gone up - weird? Yes. Creepy? Yes. She’d said I should follow some of the accounts she followed on tiktok so I could watch those tiktoks too, but let’s be clear, I was just being weird, it wasn’t that.
She’d followed SH again and SH had followed her!
Immediately, my mind went back to everything - being unable to shut him down for months, the tiktoks and how in love she was with him originally. So then, I thought she’d changed her bio for him.
I struggled at that point and asked her if her bio referred to him, not aggressively mind you, more like “It refers to me rightttttt? I’m sorry it’s just you followed SH and then changed your bio”.
She exploded, and later told me she’d left the wedding hall crying. She said it showed I couldn’t trust her, didn’t love her and everything.
We barely spoke that night, I cried.
The next morning, she forgave me, but told me she’d never forget it.
After that, the avoiding started, she went through speaking to me every day to calling once every week. She even would text me things like “Hi, don’t talk to me. Bye.” When I tried to talk to her, the most recent being a few days ago.
It doesn’t help that she’s been so stressed and ill that she can’t take her pills, and that she’s even worse than ever accordingly.
This morning we spoke - since she’s out of school because she tested positive for covid, and she said she didn’t know if she loved me the same way anymore, and that while she did love me, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to date me anymore. I said to give it time, and she agreed - now she’s on a break, and I’m not sure for how long. I just feel like things aren’t going to get better at all - and that I ruined what we had.
And to that, all I can say is, I’m sorry Jazmin. I love you so much.
Tl;dr - undiagnosed BPD long distance girlfriend catfished me, pranked me repeatedly and went through a lot of awful trauma, because of past events which had made me unsure of our relationship, I ruined things by asking a stupid question, and now I doubt I’ll even have a relationship a week from now.
There’s more I missed, which I’m happy to explain if anyone would like. But to anyone with BPD reading this, it isn’t always your fault, sometimes the “normal” half of the relationship gets it wrong too.
submitted by Dancingwithnopoise to BPD [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 thewirdz NO COPYRIGHT MUSIC // Jay Someday - Never Give Up
2021.09.25 04:29 Ken_iorn Uhh Gary 88 update not going well :(
Yea so I had a glitch and it was pretty bad I couldn't figure it out so I had to restart the mod so yea I might just put it on hold for later :(
submitted by Ken_iorn to thecampaigntrail [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 Nohan07 Nickel : à Bordeaux, la grande usine SAFT fabrique les batteries électriques (Nickel-MSX) de la transition énergétique
2021.09.25 04:29 Virus19847 Lost Judgement | Launch Trailer
|submitted by Virus19847 to xboxone [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 Pleasant_Gur_8933 "To be a truly decentralized TLD, control of the TLD's Smart Contract needs to be provably removed, otherwise the owner of the contract could update it and pull the rug out from second-level domain owners by removing control of their domains" ...So UD can Rug pull?
|submitted by Pleasant_Gur_8933 to unstoppabledomains [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 Joris-50 Is this rare? I got something called Astronium from it
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2021.09.25 04:29 Chaos323 Got out the Remington r1 and crks for my wedding today!
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2021.09.25 04:29 headlesshumanstudio YouTube Channels for Food History
I was drawn to this group because I was a big fan of Tasting History. I kind of want to branch out though and see what other formats there are for video docos of sorts like this, provided I don't really like reading books on the subject. Anybody have any recommendations?
submitted by headlesshumanstudio to FoodHistory [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 queensisland Take time out for self compassion
|submitted by queensisland to MotivationalPics [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 feral_houseplant Adansonii keeps drooping more and more?? It seems very healthy otherwise:(
|submitted by feral_houseplant to plantclinic [link] [comments]|
2021.09.25 04:29 lateteawiththerabbit Help with excessive barking while gone? (In multi house apartment)
I've posted here a couple times about my four year old pit bull. I adopted him from my coworker about a month ago. The day after, I took him to a walk in vet who gave him his vaccines, a clean bill of health, and gabapentin for anxiety.
I've periodically asked my neighbors if he is whining or barking excessively while I'm gone and the answer has always been no. Others also have dogs so they may not notice anything as much. Today though, my next door neighbor asked if anyone comes by while I'm gone and I said that my dog walker comes for 3 hours the days I'm gone. He said my dog barks quite a bit while I'm gone.
I typically leave the radio or tv on while I'm gone, today I didn't because I knew my dog walker would be there within an hour of me being gone. He's been finished with his gabapentin for about a week now, but I'm getting a vet appointment for him for regular care soon, now that his health insurance has kicked in.
I don't crate him while I'm gone because it's too long and when I posted previously on this sub, many discouraged it.
I have CBD treats I can give him to help calm him. I will leave the radio and/or tv on Everytime I leave.
I can keep him in the bathroom while I'm gone because it's on the opposite side of the neighbor that complained. There's room to play, eat, and see out the window in there. Would this be a good idea??
He gets 1-4 hours of outdoor exercise everyday. It's broken up into different walks and jogs, including potty time. I play with him inside the house and he sleeps and cuddles with me.
I'm guessing it's just all the noises he hears, but what do I do about the barking??
I'm wondering if the bathroom idea, combined with CBD treats and leaving the radio on will help him and the neighbors for the time that I'm gone.
submitted by lateteawiththerabbit to pitbulls [link] [comments]
2021.09.25 04:29 1ron_duke Bonnie and Clyde Ford
2021.09.25 04:29 malonkey1 I've come to make an announcement: Todd Young's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my...
|submitted by malonkey1 to The_Leftorium [link] [comments]|